Erica loves me.

I don't understand why but she does. It's mind-blowing and sometimes overwhelming to think that this wonderful, beautiful woman wants to be with me. See she's amazing. As I said, she's beautiful, with golden hair and a smile that lights up my world and melts my heart. She incredibly intelligent and one of the most capable people I've ever known. I have absolutely no doubt that she can do anything and everything she puts her mind to and do it well. And she cares. About causes, issues, and people, she cares deeply and passionately. And these only scratch [……]

I barricaded myself and stared out the window, without seeing anything but my own unhappiness.
— Thomas Bernhard

I guess I was right. I didn't want to be and I hate myself for it but I don't know how to let myself be happy anymore.

Erica and I had been taking steps to rebuild our relationship in recent weeks and things were going seemingly okay. And then we had a fight – already a difficult thing to do effectively over such a distance – and for a couple of days we went round and round in a big jumbled mess of misunderstanding each [……]

Life improves slowly and goes wrong fast, and only catastrophe is clearly visible.
— Edward Teller

The reason lightning doesn't strike twice in the same place is that the same place isn't there the second time.
— Willie Tyler

It's an awful thing to come face to face with the fact that your worst fears about yourself just might be true. That things you've tried to outrun and fight against turn out to be a lot faster and a lot stronger than you were prepared for. I've said before that, other than in college, I have never felt like I fit in much of [……]

I made some cookies today and the recipe made exactly forty-two of them. This is, of course, highly significant and these cookies are not to be trifled with. 

Astute viewers among you will have noticed that this site was reduced to a static page for a few months. Truth be told, I hadn't been inspired to write anything for quite some time and I'd been having second thoughts about whether I wanted to keep going with it at all. But now I've had second thoughts about my second thoughts so I'm opening the doors of my mind once again.

To quote Dante Alighieri’s Inferno, "Lasciate ogne speranza, voi ch'intrate."

Ok - not really random thoughts but rather a random collection of things I've learned recently. I hereby inflct these tidbits on you.

• Elizabeth Tower, which houses Big Ben, leans enough that the top is about 20 inches off center.

• By the way, Big Ben itself rings an E natural.

• Nobody knows whether Gilligan was his first or last name. Or maybe he was like Madonna or Cher and only needed one.

• Although no one knows the exact number, it's quite likely that there are more Lego minifigures in the world than there are real people. Also, at one time Lego was the largest

I just got this notification on my phone:

Damn straight, Woot.  Damn straight.

Today I learned that the world's most expensive cheese slicer was stolen a few years ago and hasn't been seen since. From the "Just Because You Can Doesn't Mean You Should" department, it was a Boska slicer encrusted with 220 diamonds and was valued at between $26,00 and $28,000. The thieves were caught on camera nipping away with the utensil in question from the Amsterdam Cheese Museum but couldn't be identified. The second most important part of the story, though, is that if you find the thing and return it to the museum part of your reward is the world's largest [……]

Twenty-four little hours
Brought the sun and the flowers
Where there used to be rain
— Stanley Adams

Okay. To be fair, the full difference wasn't made in just twenty-four little hours but I really like the song and it speaks to the larger point. It's remarkable how your entire perspective can change in a very short time due to one thing.

A year ago — six month ago, even — I felt like I was just going through the motions of life. I was stable and functional. I wasn't in a particular depressed funk for the most part. But I just didn't [……]

And should I dare to dream aloud
    Of music souls do yearn to hear?
A message there so pure avowed
    Serves but to gently draw you near.

And should I dare to search the night
    For shining eyes that rend the dark?
A beacon there. A guiding light
    To places new that bear your mark.

And should I dare to heed the song
    That calls the lovers to their home?
A lyric there intoned so strong
    That time nor death can overcome.

For heart to hold and hand to touch
    Or do I dare to dream [……]