Back to the Shadows
Take all the time you need to heal emotionally.
Moving on doesn’t take a day, it takes lots of little
steps to be able to break free of your broken self.
— Tere Arigo
No matter how bad you want a person, if your hearts are
in two different places, you’ll have to pass and move on.
— Alexandra Elle
When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.
When I let go of what I have, I receive what I need.
— Lao Tzu
This post has been a long time in coming mainly, I think, because [……]Continue reading →
Obligatory New Year's Post
"Since it's traditional to break my New Year's resolutions, I think this year I'll try for being fat and lazy and see what happens."
"I can't believe it's been a whole year since I didn't become a better person."
"My New Year's resolution is to stop lying to myself about making lifestyle changes."
I don't do resolutions. At least, I don't do them well. Never have and likely never will. When I was younger I used to make resolutions as more of a gag. Like "eat more chocolate". Back then I still had a metabolism that could meet that challenge head on and [……]Continue reading →
Meh. -rry Christmas
I almost wish there weren't a holiday season.
I know nobody likes me. Why do we have to
have a holiday season to emphasize it?
— Charlie Brown
Well, it looks like my annual holiday depression has arrived and this year it's kind of a doozy. For the past few days, I've been struggling to mentally keep my head above water. My standard joking line over the past few years has been, "Buy one divorce, get a depression free." Sadly, all good humor is rooted in truth and there have been times when it has been difficult to wake up and [……]Continue reading →
Life's a beach
Vacation, all I ever wanted
Vacation, had to get away
The Go-Go’s — "Vacation"
I know that blogging has been sparse of late — oh who are we kidding, it's been non-existent — but with good reason. It's been far too long since I've had a vacation. I mean, I've had vacation days where I took time off from work and did little or nothing. And every year I use some time to volunteer my services for a large international equestrian three-day event but that hardly ends up being relaxing. No, I'm talking about just kicking back and blocking out the [……]Continue reading →
Len-ding Support (See what I did there?)
"... and thank you for your support."
— Frank Bartles and Ed Jaymes
I was ever so gently admonished by Len this week for not sharing what's on my mind when something is bothering me. To quote the great Jim Dale as the narrator of Pushing Daisies, the facts are these.
I've not been sleeping particularly well for the last couple weeks and one day I offhandedly mentioned in a text to her that I guess I had too much on my mind. But every time she asks about it, I seem to deflect the conversation back to her as I try [……]Continue reading →
Random Thoughts #1
Just a collection of things that don't merit a full post all to themselves. This could easily become a regular feature where the mindless fluff and short bits of amazingly profound wisdom congregate and then present themselves to a weary world in need of their refreshment.
I'm subscribed to way too many podcasts.
The thing I miss the most from my old life are the simple pleasures. I'm a big fan of the really nice moments that happen all the time but sometimes get overlooked in the search for the big events. I want to sit together with someone with a
Remembering Luanne - Redux
This is a repost of something I wrote just over five years ago. I've edited it ever so slightly from it's original form to account for my life changes and to update some wording. Additional commentary follows.
A couple months ago I woke up at 4:30 in the morning thinking about a girl — a girl I haven't thought about in many years. For some reason, my mind wouldn't let go of her memory and I couldn't get back to sleep no matter how hard I tried. Eventually I got out of bed, fired up the computer and did a [……]Continue reading →
Getting past the "They"
I've been thinking a lot recently about the concept of "they" and this habit we have of lumping people into groups. We're so good at doing that. We automatically separate everyone into various groups and slap labels on them so we can refer to them as some aggregate entity. I get why we do it. It's easier to deal with people that way. We don't get bogged down in all of the details that don't matter to whatever the topic of the day is. It's much easier to say "They said this" and "They want to do that."
It's such a [……]Continue reading →
So where am I now?
I guess the first step in writing about a personal journey is to establish a baseline -- a line in the sand to document where I am now -- which will serve the additional purpose of bringing former readers up to speed on the past few years while the blog has been inactive.
My path to this point has been laid out for a long time so I won't rehash all of that. Here are the updates that are pertinent to the scope of this blog.
- Life stuff: The ex has remarried (to the guy mentioned in the archive post) and moved